Somewhere That's Regular
by DemiHuman123
Summary: We'll find someplace that's regular one day.  Where we won't have to worry about anything, and we'll make it through just fine.  A collection of short stories based on "Regular Show", ranging various ratings and genres.
1. Nostalgia

**Somewhere That's Regular  
**_A collection of short stories based on "Regular Show"_

By _DemiHuman123_

_I don't own the TV show, Regular Show. I don't own Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, or the neutral Margaret. Cartoon Network own them, so nobody better come and sue me because I got a copyright up so I'm fine. I think. Though somehow I have a feeling the J.G. Quintell secretly reads his fans fanfiction._

**Nostalgia**

The beer was warm to his lips. It tasted disgusting that way. Muscle Man sometimes wished he and High Five Ghost got paid more to afford an actual refrigerator, but the pay for two random workers at a park was considerably low, and they had to make do. It wasn't like their old job, where money came in pretty steady, but that was a long time ago. Before it happened...

The green man sat on his messy and rugged bed, holding a picture in his hand. A feeling of nostalgia washed over him as he looked at the two figures in the picture. One of them was himself, looking slightly thinner, though still with a wide build and large gut. A wide smile spread across his face and he looked happily at the figure next to him. His clothes were clean for a change, and his hair was no longer stringy and dirty.

Beside Muscle Man in the picture was someone else, though it was hard to make them out because of the condition of the photograph. He had that photo for so long it was starting to warp and tear in places. The only thing that he could make out of this other person was the body: skinny and lanky build sporting khacky pants and a denom jacket with a wife beater underneath. One gloved arm seemed to be in a sling of some sort, recovering from god only knows what kind of injury. The other gloved arm was wrapped around Muscles Man's neck in a friendly manner. The face, though, was missing. It was smudged and twisted, having no defining characteristics.

Muscle Man took another sip of beer, looking away from the photo for a few seconds. When he returned to the snapshot, it occured to him that he forgot. He forgot what he looked like. It was the only picture of the two of them together when he was still alive, and he had forgotten what his friend looked like. He nerve wracked his brain over and over, trying to remember the exact details of his face. How big were his eyes? Was his noise pronounced or sunk in? What color was his skin or hair? Did he have any hair for that matter?

He grunted as he tried his best to jog his memory. There must have been something, anything in this picture that could tell him what he wanted to know. But nothing came of it. He kept looking, his eyes darting back and forth between people, and the only thing that came out of it was a greater sense of self annoyance and regret.

A cold gust swept through him at that moment, and he knew what it was. High Five Ghost had phased through him, and was happily looking at the photo.

"Hey," he exclaimed, "that's you!"

Muscle Man smiled narcistically and let out a brief chuckle. "Yeah, that was me back when all the losers wanted to be like me. Not that they don't now."

The ghost giggled at the sight of his friend, and turned his attention to the other figure in the picture. He eyed this faceless person curiously, unaware of who it was.

"Who's that?" he asked Muscle Man with a questioning look.

Muscle Man didn't answer. He didn't want to have to explain.

High Five Ghost didn't recognize the body of the other person as his own. He didn't recognize the sling, or the clothes, or his arm around his friend. He didn't even remember taking that picture. Even if the picture had been worn and warped over time, he should still remember taking it. But he didn't. That memory was long gone, taken away with his former life.

"Nobody," Muscle Man said as his smile faded, replaced with an expression of melancholy. "It's... just some guy."

He took a sip of his beer. It still tasted terrible.

**That sense of nostalgia... it'll never leave...**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	2. Curiosity

**Curiosity**

There was that curiosity that stuck in the back of his mind. What did they taste like, he wondered. He saw other people eat them, and Benson didn't seem to mind. Well, actually he did mind. It was usually thugs and random people who would brave the gumball machine's crank, and steal one of his sweet spheres.

But that was besides the point. He had to do it. He was going to get one of them this time, and get a sample of that forbidden fruit that so many before him had tried. It was going to be simple: find a moment in which Benson was distracted, run up to him, turn his crank, grab a gumball, and run like hell. It all seemed simple enough, though he was never a sly or subtle person, so that didn't help matters. He would still try it though. It was something new at least.

What luck! Benson seemed distracted at that very moment. He looked as though he was dealing with Mordecai. Something must have happened. It wasn't his concern though, so in that instant, he ran across the living room into the kitchen, and clutched the crank in his hand. Benson gripped the hand that had grabbed at his crotch and eyed the perpetrator.

"Pops," he started with a calm sigh, "what are you doing?"

The lollipop man didn't say anything at first. Only looking at the gumball machine, and then down to the area between his legs. It wasn't like Pops to just run off and do something like this, but even he had a sense of adventure about him every so often.

"Well, I was wandering if..."

Benson heard enough. He knew exactly what the naive man wanted, so he let go of his grip on Pops' hand and allowed him to turn the crank. The gumball winced and gave out a brief gasp, which surprised the blue jay standing next to him. A few clacking sounds rolled through his body as the gumball hit the door to his privates. Pops looked at Benson for a moment before opening the door allowing the piece of candy to fall into his hand.

The man thanked Benson graciously, and exited the house via the back door, stopping on the porch, laughing happily with gumball in hand. He chucked it into his mouth greedily and began to chew.

The taste was... unique. Certainly didn't taste tuity fruity, but didn't have a rotten, rancid, or salty taste at least. It was so so. Pops chewed on the gum for a couple of minutes before spitting it out in a nearby trashcan. The man felt so disappointed suddenly. It all felt so anti-climactic.

The lollipop man started back into the house when a sudden urge overwhelmed him. It was ticklish and funny at first. Something in his belly began to make the man dance and giggle like crazy. His body was filled with an ocean of energy and he felt he could do anything. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there were so many colors in the sky today. Nothing looked the same anymore. It all looked so new and fantastic! The feeling became too much and he fell onto the porch, clutching his belly and laughing.

"Good show," he yelled, as another wave of joy overwhelmed him, "jolly good sh-"

He was cut off by something else. A different type of feeling. Something new and altogether foreign to him. A sensation that rippled and coursed through his body, sending shivers, splendid shivers up and down his spine. He blushed as his body curled up into a ball when another wave hit him. So wonderful.

"Oh my," he moaned as this new feeling enveloped him whole.

Benson watched from behind the back door window, groaning unhappily as he did. And everyone wondered why those gumballs were off limits.

**Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back!**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	3. Freak

**Freak**

He took a dive and latched on to whatever was the closest thing to him, not caring what it was. It was like a shot of adrenaline to the heart at first, shocking him awake and causing him to spasm all over the ground. A few on lookers gasped as they watched the man convulse on the grass and scream out in pain. He curled himself into a ball and tried to ride it out. The man closed his eyes and tried to think of something better. Anything better. Maybe his family, or his friends, or how well he's doing in classes? But all those things came up short and he felt worse for having to think up such imaginary things.

Moments later, the pain stopped and his body ceased jumping. He kept his eyes closed, knowing full well of the hell he would witness when he opened them.

"Are you alright sir?" a woman asked above him.

He refused to move. He refused to open his eyes. He refused to acknowledge what he had done to himself. The woman above him screamed out for someone to call 9-1-1. No! He didn't want them to see him like this. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.

His eyes opened and he was running, running as fast as he could. He made the mistake of looking down at his feet, if that's what you could call them. Two long metal stalks petruded from his torso down to the ground. His new legs. He already hated them.

The man found himself on the streets now, running through crowds who could care less about what had happened to him. That's not what he thought though. They were all staring at him, calling him a freak in their mind. They had to be. Or maybe, he just didn't want to be alone in calling himself that.

He stopped his sprint to rest against a wall. In that moment, he saw more of himself. He saw his arms. Just like his legs, they were a grey metal, long and stuck out. It was strange having limbs this long. He reached out a finger to touch his arm. Cold to the touch. It scared him.

The strange man looked into a nearby convenient store. A cigarette! That would definitely hit the spot right about now. But no... he refused. Those things are what got him into this dilemma in the first place.

In the window of the convenient store, he saw the rest of himself. His body was bright red and no longer flesh. He was... painted. Is that something he would have to upkeep? The man began to playfully flick at the metal door located on his groin. This was certainly going to put a damper on his sex life, as nonexistent as it was. A strange device lay above the door. Some sort of wheel with a coin mechanism attached.

The pieces were beginning to fit together in his mind. He had figured out what he had melded into. He had brought this on himself, from years and years of destroying his lungs. How many packs a day did he go through? Why had he done this? It was his fault and he knew it. His body had rejected him at the age of seventeen. He hadn't even finished high school. How was he going to graduate? What would his class mates think? Oh god, what would his parents think?

He took one last look at himself in the reflection of the window. His head was a large perfect circle, that he could see through on top of that. He noticed his mouth, eyes and nose, and was happy that some part of his original body stayed with him. But when he saw the gumballs inside his head he knew what he was.

He ran from that spot to find a nice dark alleyway to hide from the world. When he had found a place for him to be alone, Benson took a deep breath and screamed.

**Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak... Freak...**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	4. Awkward

**Awkward**

Rigby sat in the chair across from Margaret, his cheek resting on the palm of his hand as he did his best to remain focused on the date in front of him. He really didn't want to be there. This entire turn of events just annoyed the tiny raccoon. Truth be told, he only went out with Margaret to prove a point to Mordecai. Though, he couldn't remember what that point was at the moment.

"So what's it like working at a park?" the red robin across from him asked as she took a sip of her drink. "I'll bet it's really exciting!"

Margaret chose the place to go on their date, and what a place. The music was loud, filled with drum and bass, causing the sounds to reverberate through the raccoon's ears. The scent of smoke and alcohol filled his lungs and made them feel heavy, while the sounds of muffled dialogue from background nobodies filled whatever air to breath was left.

"It's alright," Rigby answered. "Our boss is a real B."

"A real what?"

"A real B! You know, a B!"

"I don't follow you, sorry."

This was getting him nowhere. If Mordecai was there, he would understand their little dialogue. But this... it was unbearable. What was that point he was trying to prove again?

"I like your tie," Margaret commented. She pointed to the blue and black striped tie that was around the raccoon's neck.

"Oh this?" Rigby said, "it's just a stupid gift from my parents after high school."

"Oh..." the red robin said, unsatified. This wasn't going anywhere. She could have sworn he had a lot more to say and was more interesting back at the coffee shop. He WAS the more interesting of the duo in her eyes.

The dance floor bounced heavily as something terribly hardcore blared through the speakers. It made hearing anything an impossibility.

"So how long have you and Mordecai known each other!" she screamed, trying to raise her voice over the music.

Rigby shook his head. He couldn't hear her. He leaned forward to try and get better audio. Margaret saw him lean toward her, and saw this as a sign. She leaned forward as well and gave the little raccoon a kiss.

Rigby was caught off guard, not knowing what the hell just happened.

She pressed her beak close to his ear. "I can't hear a thing in here. Why don't we go back to my place and 'talk'."

**Good things come to those who wait...**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	5. Outfit

**Outfit**

"Oh dear," Pop muttered in a fluster. "Was it this one, or this one?"

The naïve man from Lolliland stood in front of a mirror and pulled one suit in front of him self, then pulled it away. He did the same thing with another suit, his facial expressions changing as he tried to figure out which one was the best choice to wear. The man pulled both suits away from his body and observed what he had on at the moment: a pair of black socks, some dress pants, and his trademark hat.

"But which one…?"

The annual park community meeting was happening in just a little over an hour, and Pops wasn't even dressed properly yet, let alone ready for yet another speech his father was forcing him to perform. He was happy that his fear of public speaking had sputtered out lately thanks to the ingenious planning of Rigby and Mordecai, but everything else related to the park and his father still sent the sixty-something year old man into a anxiety stricken panic.

_Knock Knock_

"Don't come in yet," the old man exclaimed still comparing suits in the mirror.

His request had no effect on the other side of the wall as the knob turned and the door swung open. Pops quickly covered up his shirtless body with the suits in his hands, making sure no one saw him in such an ungentlemanly manner.

Benson walked in through the door, closing it behind him. He took a good long look at Pops and how awkward he looked and sighed.

"Are you still getting dressed?" the gumball machine said as he approached the older man.

Pops groaned at himself and turned back toward the mirror.

"There are just so many choices," he said returning to his comparison. "I just want to find the right one to make papa proud of me."

Benson rolled his eyes, as he did his best to try and put the gentlemen's mind at ease. "He's already proud of you, Pops. Don't worry about it so much."

The lollipop man hopped up and down in a nervous manner as he continued to look at both suits in his grip. "Benson, you don't understand," he said with an unwilling tone. "Papa always has such high expectations of me."

The old man looked down onto the ground and sniffled. "I just don't want to disappoint him."

Benson took some breath in and released quickly through his nose. He smiled at the man in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"We're proud of you Pops," Benson said in an uplifting manner. Though he admitted to himself that Pops was an alright worker around that park that could do to improve on so many areas, he was still happy to have the naïve man around. He brought a smile to everyone's face.

Pops grinned as he happily embraced Benson into a quick hug, ruffling up the suits between the men. The gumball machine frowned at the sudden display of affection, but allowed the man to be happy for a few fleeting moments.

The gentlemen let go of Benson a few seconds later, looking at the candy dispenser with a child like smile and a song in his heart.

"Oh," Pops realized, "what was it that you came in here for again?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah," Benson said, completely forgetting the reason he had come into the room in the first place. "Mordecai and Rigby screwed up the park again, so your father had to cancel the meeting."

Pops cocked his head to the side. "What happ-"

"Don't ask," Benson interrupted as he began to massage the bridge of his nose. "Just don't ask."

Not wanting to pry into the affairs of Mordecai and Rigby, Pops smiled at Benson and tried to regain his usual composer.

"So I suppose that means we have tonight off," the big headed man commented.

"We sure do," Benson said with a grin. "Skips and I were thinking of going to see a movie. Want to come along?"

"The moving picture show?" Pops proclaimed excitedly. "What a wonderful idea! I shall get ready immediately!"

"The left one," Benson said suddenly.

Pops looked at his employee quizzically, unsure of what he meant by his statement.

"I like the suit on the left," the gumball machine added. "I guess that would be your right."

"This one?" the old asked holding up the suit in his right hand.

"Yeah," Benson answered, "that's the one. It makes you look a little less distinguished. You know… makes you seem like an everyday person."

Pops smiled as he looked at the suit and then back to Benson. "I shall be down momentarily."

Benson allowed his grin to shine around his boss for a moment more before turning around to head out of the bedroom. "We'll be waiting for ya…"

**Decisions, Decisions**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	6. Abrupt

**Abrupt**

Arm wrapped around his neck, head nuzzled into the pillow like folds of his neck fat, body quietly cuddled up next to him like some neglected puppy seeking out attention. This thing moved slightly, causing the person he had latched onto to stir from his slumber. Muscle Man stared up at the ceiling of the hotel room, now awake, suddenly doing his best to try and fit together the pieces of last night's escapades. His head pounded miserably, like a boxer in the middle of a title fight. With the only free arm he had, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to readjust to the world around him.

He recognized the place well enough. It looked like one of the many hotels that he and his friend had squatted in every so often when they needed a place to stay. The place wasn't in any particular good condition or up to code, or anything like that, but it was a place to sleep, and the duo wasn't going to argue a good nights sleep, no matter how uncomfortable the bed was.

The green man looked down at himself, giggling at the sight of his own naked body. He pondered to himself if he had gotten any the previous night, and began to search the clouded recesses of his mind for an answer. His brain was still swimming from the alcohol though, so he couldn't make a single coherent thought. This was fine with him. What was the point of thinking anyways? All it did was mess things up more than usual.

His sight shifted down to his side, looking over the other person who was latched onto his arm in a cuddle. He sighed at the skinny albino man who looked as though he was enjoying every minute of his cuddle, but was at least thankful that his friend still had his clothes on. It shows that they didn't get THAT drunk at least. Still, Muscle Man knew he was probably going to have to check for hickies later. They may not have been THAT drunk but that doesn't mean that they still weren't drunk. He thought about how that didn't make any sense but shrugged it off, going back to his notion of non thought.

"…ughhh…," moaned the little voice awaking from his own sleep. Muscle Man looked down at him quietly and smiled. He always loved to watch the reaction his friend had when he woke up after a hard night of drinking.

The other man's eyes opened slowly as he took in the sight of his naked green friend.

Muscle Man smiled evilly, showing off his yellow teeth. "Mornin' sexy," he said in his usual deep joking voice.

His friend took a moment to process what was going on before letting go of his stout friend and roll off the bed onto the floor. His head appeared a few seconds later, long and dirty white hair obscuring his vision. A quick flick of the wrist across his forehead fixed that.

"That's not funny," he, the sleepy albino, said as he yawned.

Muscle Man chuckled at him before answering. "Yeah, it was."

His friend's eyes began to shift in different directions, his mind lost in thought, before coming back into reality a few moments later. "You're right," he said with a sincere smile, "it was pretty funny."

They both laughed at the albino's expense and clutched at their heads when a wave of morning after headaches surged through them. They laughed at those too and picked themselves up to start the new day.

"Why are you always naked?" the man with pale skin asked as he headed to the bathroom.

"Because you like it when I am," Muscle man answered back just as fast.

His friend stopped short of entering the hotel bathroom to take a good long look at his friend's green and naked body. He rolled his eyes and gave a soft laugh at his heavy set companion.

"I've had you before," he said like it was public knowledge, "not impressed, limp dick."

He walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, leaving Muscle Man outside to his own "device" so to speak. The green man looked around the floor and began to collect his clothes, knocking over and kicking empty beer bottles along the way.

"You lie," Muscle Man exclaimed loudly. "Every babe I've been with keeps begging for it all… night… long!"

A chuckle was released from behind the bathroom door. "Yeah," it said laughing, "every babe. Do I look like a babe to you?"

"You act like one in the sack," Muscle Man countered immediately, following it up with an uproarious cackle.

"Oh?" continued the voice behind the door. "I thought you were always too drunk to remember those nights."

Once again, Muscle Man had found himself talking a bit too much. He didn't feel like having to explain himself this early in the morning, and this hung over as well. He just huffed a little bit and continued his morning routine.

"At least I don't go around screwing everything I see," he said with a little scorn in his voice, as he pulled his briefs on.

"Hey hey," his friend called from beyond the door, "there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open a little. You should try it sometime."

"Do I look a fag?" Muscle Man said with a little more contempt in his voice.

"No," his friend answered back, opening the door and stepping out of the facilities, "but you act like one in bed."

He then began to mock his green cohort, wrapping his arms around himself and contorting his face into twisted and painful expressions, all while belting out loud high pitched squeals and moans. Muscle Man sighed unhappily at him before slipping his shirt on over his exposed chest. The whining albino then let a loud shrieking gasp, trying to mimic the moment of climax.

"You're a fag," Muscle Man said with annoyance. "You know that right?"

The pale skinned man smiled at him, before brushing the white hair out of his face. "Half right, I guess," he said with a smile. "Speaking of all this sex talk though, I think that lady man person I was with last week gave me something I may not have wanted," he added, scratching at his privates.

Muscle Man couldn't help but belt out laughing. "Serves him right," he thought, "letting his dick run around without a rubber? This guy is so dumb."

The other man began to laugh as well, seeing no point in dwelling on something as simple as an itch near his groin.

"Hey," the fat green man began, "you wanna know who else got something they didn't want by doing it with some chick guy slut?"

His friend's smile widened, knowing what the answer was going to be. He could hardly hold his breath, waiting to hear the punch line.

"MY MOM," Muscle Man screamed with a giant grin on his face. The albino began to jump up and down all giddy, before reaching back his hand and giving his best friend a high five for saying such an awesome joke. True, the joke itself was over used and really was the only joke that the man knew how to tell, but it always ended up being so funny in the end for some reason.

"Pancakes and whiskey," exclaimed the albino man. "We should totally have pancakes and whiskey for breakfast!"

Now that sounded like a good idea, thought Muscle Man. He nodded in agreement, and within a few minutes, they had exited the hotel, and were now out on the streets of the city, heading towards the nearest breakfast joint. They thought it for the best to just get their food to go, get the alcohol from the local liquor store, and just have a good ole fashion drunken breakfast out on the street. To hell with public drunkenness laws. They were young, and they were going to experience life to its fullest.

The door of the liquor store dinged as the two exited with paper sacks filled with the least expensive whiskey they could get their hands on. True it was only a few small dollar bottles, but it was just enough to get a good morning buzz, and to counteract the hangover they both had.

"Nothing like a little hair of the dog that bit ya," the albino said as he twisted off the cap to one of the small bottles and chugging the whole tiny bottle down his throat. He shivered as he felt the contents fill his belly with a familiar warmth.

The two found a nice bus stop bench to sit down and enjoy their breakfast, watching the world pass by slowly, commenting on the several fine looking females that passed them by. Every so often though, one of them would say some colorful remarks about some of the occasional men that walked passed, causing the green man to grimace at the thought.

"We should probably start job hunting again," his friend said, taking another bite of pancake.

"Yeah, yeah," Muscle Man said uncaringly. Work was annoying, but they needed the money, and they didn't want to spend their whole lives sleeping on benches or manipulating men and women to pay for hotel rooms. Besides, neither of them were adverse to the idea of having to work for their keep. They weren't THAT lazy. They knew the world was a cruel place.

The albino smiled as he closed up his now empty styrofoam container. "I heard the city park is looking for custodians," he said sticking the container into the plastic bag they came in with the rest of their trash.

Muscle Man shrugged, taking a drink of his bottle. "Sounds good to me," he answered.

The young man smiled at his green best friend and handed him the plastic bag filled with all their trash including their breakfast, liquor bottles, and the paper bag from earlier. Muscle Man took it and got up to place the trash into the proper receptacle a few feet from them. He threw it in without a care in the world and turned back to his friend, still sitting on the bus stop bench with a smile on his face.

"This is it, man," the albino said with enthusiasm, "things are looking up for us." He brought his arm up, opening his palm. "High five!"

A moment later, a speeding car swerved out of control, and crashed directly into bus stop bench. Muscle Man's albino friend was dead in an instant.

**Can someone tell me what was the point?**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	7. Unusual

**Unusual**

Mordecai pressed his beak against the glass window, doing his best to get a better look at the duo in the closed coffee house. The glass fogged up from his breath every so often, obstructing his view of the two. A quick wipe with his wing fixed that right up.

"So this is where Rigby's been running off to lately," Mordecai whispered to himself as he watched his best friend congregate with his crush.

The blue jay had noticed as of late that his best friend had been sneaking off after hours by himself to some unknown location. Now, Mordecai wasn't usually the nosey type, unlike his best friend. If Rigby wanted space to do his own thing then so be it. But when it comes down to the same time pattern every night and then avoiding questions when asked, it becomes a concern for the avian. So he decides to follow his friend this one time and what does he find?

"What is Rigby doing with Margaret?" Mordecai asked himself as he watched the two of them from outside.

They didn't seem to be doing anything too inconspicuous. They were just down there laughing and having a cup of coffee together. He wasn't sure what they might have been talking about, but whatever it was, it sure made Margaret laugh... more than usual actually.

Mordecai watched Rigby climb on top of a table and act out some sort of scene from something or another. Margaret began to lean back in her chair and laugh as loud as she could. Mordecai loved that laugh and couldn't wait for the day in which he could do that to her. Rigby always ended up being the one to make her laugh though, which made the bird more jealous than he let on.

So what was Rigby doing there? Had Margaret and him become friends, or was he trying to convince her to go out with Mordecai maybe? The blue jay could only hope it was the latter. It sounded like something Rigby would do. He was such a good friend to Mordecai.

Mordecai continued to watch the two until something happened. Something shocking. Margaret leaped forward at the raccoon and kissed him. And what a kiss it was. She had no trouble opening up that beak of hers and using her tongue. What's more, Rigby was leaning right into it, adding his own little bits of passion to the mix. It took Mordecai a moment to realize what was going on.

"What the F?" Mordecai coughed.

Were Rigby and Margaret seriously kissing? Was this what his best friend had been running off to "do" every night? To go and play tonsil hockey with his crush? Mordecai didn't know what to feel at that moment.

"Dude," he said with a slightly louder tone.

He wished his little outburst had stopped them, alerted them to his presence, but no such luck. They were still in the act of making out, growing more wanting of each other by the second. Margaret pushed the raccoon on to his back on the table and quickly made short work of her apron, tossing it to the ground without any care in the world. Rigby's hands were all over her a second later: first on the neck and face, caressing and touching, then to her chest, squeezing and groping, then under the shirt. It was all happening so fast it made Mordecai's head spin.

The shirt was tossed off a second later leaving a bare chested red robin in front of the excited raccoon. Rigby jumped at her, causing her sense of balance to shift behind her, forcing them both to the floor. His mouth began to kiss and lick her collar bones, causing a giant smile to spread across the females face. Her wings clawed at his back, keeping him close as all the excitement happened.

Mordecai needed to move around to see the action a little better, but when he moved his position slightly he was greeted with a sight he wished he hadn't scene: Rigby had begun to lick and suckle at her breast which apparently caused a pleasurable reaction to the female. Her body was getting too hot for the rest of the clothes on her, so the pants came off just as quickly as the rest. Rigby wasted no time descended down onto the area between her legs with his tongue in tow.

A devilish smile appeared on Rigby's face suddenly. A quick flick of his tongue, and the woman arched her back and let out a deep and audible moan, loud enough for Mordecai to hear through the window.

The blue jay could have sworn he went deaf or blind for a few seconds before making his way to his feet. A few short steps into an alley way later, the contents of his stomach emptied.

**You may not like what you see, once you find it...**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	8. Caring

**Caring**

Skips felt like he needed to say something to Benson. The poor gumball machine slumped back in his seat, feeling defeated and broken once again. Maelard said nothing as he exited the upstairs office, stopping only to collect his walking cane and umbrella from beside the door. He was gone a moment later, leaving the two men in the office alone. Skips looked at the gumball machine and looked over his composure.

Whatever joy the gumball machine had in his slender body looked as though it had been knocked out of him. His face held the expression of a man who had just found out he was dying from some terminable illness that was unique only to him. A sad frown loomed over him as his eyes looked quietly down at his feet. No doubt he was going over everything Maelard had just said to him. So many insults in such a little amount of time. His arms slumped to his sides, as the clipboard in his hand fell out of his grasp and onto the floor. Benson sighed and fell forward as his head hit the front of the work desk. He did nothing after that, letting it rest there.

Skips sat and watched him frozen in his pathetic state. "You gonna be alright?" the yeti asked with some minor concerned. He had seen this dozens of times before, so he wasn't too worried with the mental state of his coworker. The metal man had a way of rebounding some way or another.

Benson said nothing, only letting out a faint grunting sound. This could be interpreted in a plethora of ways, but Skips took it as Benson's way of saying, "I'll survive."

There was an awkward silence in the room. It was something they were both used to in these situations. Usually, this was around the time in which Skips would give Benson a quick pat on the shoulder and go about his day. Usually, this was just enough to get the gumball machine out of his slump and back outside.

Benson felt the beast's hand on his metallic shoulder right then, knowing that Skips was about to leave and return to work. He sighed, knowing that, he too, would have to leave that office eventually and head back out to that hell hole they called a park. He expected a quick pat, but didn't get it. Benson turned his head slightly to get a better view and saw Skips hand indeed on his shoulder, but it wasn't moving. Instead, it was unmoving, just staying there perched on the top of the candy dispenser's arm. The hand squeezed down slightly on him and uncoiled a second after, repeating the motion a few more times like clockwork.

This was certainly strange. Benson looked up at Skips face and didn't see anything different. He still had that monotone and unfeeling expression on his face. So what was he doing then by squeezing down on his shoulder? Was he being more compassionate? Benson wasn't so sure... He cocked an eyebrow up at the yeti and gauged the look on his face He wanted to convey some sense of confusion to Skips, but it must have come off as something else, cause a moment later, the yeti's face changed to a more disappointed look and he took his hand off Benson's shoulder.

"We should get back to work," he said to Benson as he quickly adopted his usual expressionless visage again. He got up from his chair and began his way out the door.

Benson watched him exit the room in a huff and stood up. "Skips," he exclaimed looking toward the empty doorway.

Skips' head peeked back into the room. "Yeah?"

Benson looked at Skips, not sure what to say. Somehow, he felt like he did something wrong and needed to say something to acknowledge it.

"Uhhh," Benson started completely stone face. "Thanks," he said a second later, "thanks Skips."

"For what?" the yeti asked with no change in expression.

Benson shrugged at him as he tried to collect himself. "I don't know," he answered, "for caring, I guess?"

There are little moments in life that happen so quickly that if you blink, you'll miss them. They happen so fast that there's no way of telling if they even happen to begin with. But Benson was sure he saw it. He saw, in that second, Skips giving him a different sort of smile. He had seen the yeti smile before, many times, but this one was different. It seemed more... accepting, or maybe even understanding... caring. It was just enough to get a small smile on Benson's face even.

Skips said nothing after that, only giving his coworker a quick nod before leaving the doorway and heading down the stairs. Benson stood there for a minute, looking around the room, trying to find someone to explain what he just saw. When he couldn't find anyone, he nodded as well and left the office behind.

**Sometimes, a smile can be the one thing to brighten someone's day.**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	9. I Sight

**I. Sight**

There they were, walking along the path, hand in hand. Blue feathers collapsed onto red ones. The girl marked with red laughed at some inane thing the blue one said as they eyed each other with romance in one another's eyes. They both continued to trot down the pathway, enjoying each others company all the while.

"There they are," Skips said as he pulled the binoculars away from Rigby.

The raccoon fell from his stand on top of the park bench as he felt his toy pulled away from his grasp. He hit the pavement of the concrete path a second later, falling flat on his face. Skips didn't take notice, only making sure that his brand new pair of three hundred dollar binoculars were safe and sound. A few small nicks here and there on the sides, but overall, no real permanent damage.

"Give those back!" Rigby screamed as he jumped with futility, trying to snatch back the instrument.

Skips was surprised to see the small man already up from off the pavement, but with the amount of energy the raccoon had, he shouldn't really feel THAT surprised.

"I said give those back," Rigby continued to complain.

Skips looked down at his binoculars and then to the animal. "Why should I?" he asked in a stern voice. "You know these things are mine, right?"

"I don't care!" Rigby continued to exclaim. "I need them!"

"Why?"

Finally the furry man gave one last jump and attached himself to the yeti's tree trunk sized arm. "I need to check up on my bro!" he screamed.

Skips looked at him with confusion. Curious as to what he meant, the yeti placed the device against his eyes and scoped out the area. Sure enough, there was Mordecai and the girl from the coffee shop, holding hands and having a good time with each other. Skips wondered when the blue jay actually got the courage to ask the red robin out, but shrugged off without care.

"I don't see what the problem is," he commented to the raccoon, bringing the binoculars down from his eyes. "They look like they're having a good time."

Sensing a moment of hesitation, Rigby latched onto the binoculars and pulled them away from Skips, getting a quick eye full of Mordecai and Margaret before the toy was taken away again.

"I'm just making sure," the raccoon said as he tried to reach for the scope again.

Skips looked at Rigby with a peculiar expression. "Making sure of what?" he asked as he scraped the raccoon onto the park bench like a piece of discarded gum.

"Making sure they don't do stuff," Rigby complained as he readjusted himself into a sitting position.

"Stuff?"

"Yeah," the racoon continued, "stuff!"

"What kind of stuff?" Skips asked as he sat down next to the raccoon.

"You know," Rigby said, "...stuff!"

Skips wasn't quite sure what he was saying. What did Rigby mean by "stuff"? Was there something wrong with Margaret? Or were they doing something that the raccoon wasn't invited to?

"What do you mean by stuff, Rigby?" Skips asked him.

The young adult didn't say anything at first, choosing to look at the binoculars in Skips other hand instead. When the yeti noticed Rigby's sight on his property, he collapsed the binoculars and stuck them into his pocket for safe keeping. The raccoon wondered how something so big could fit into such a tiny pocket.

Feeling defeated, Rigby decided to indulge the yeti's curiosity. "I'm just making sure my bro isn't... you know... chasing after the wrong set of tail feathers."

Understandable, Skips thought to himself. It's only normal for one friend to be concerned with another friend about stuff like that. But wait...

"I thought you wanted Mordecai and Margaret to get together," Skips said to the raccoon.

Well it was true. Rigby knew that Margaret had this kind of charm that always seemed to put Mordecai at ease, if not a little on edge at the same time. Rigby had even been known to take his best friend to the coffee house on days when they were in bad moods, simply to make sure his "bro" got better.

"I do," Rigby said out loud, "I'm just making sure that she's right for him!"

That seemed like a convenient excuse to Skips. "I don't believe that one bit."

"What? Why?"

The yeti rolled his eyes knowing something was amiss. "Because if you wanted Mordecai to get with Margaret, you wouldn't be spying on them."

"He's my best friend," the raccoon yelled, "why can't I worry about my bro and who he's playing tongue twister with?"

Skips sighed, feeling that this conversation was going nowhere. Obviously, the raccoon wasn't saying what he really wanted to say. Th yeti didn't have time for this either. There were still too many chores to be done around the park. Which reminded him...

"Shouldn't you be working?" Skips asked Rigby with a slightly annoyed grimmace.

"Shouldn't Mordecai?" the raccoon countered in a childish voice.

"Didn't he ask for today off?" the yeti recoiled. It then became apparent as to why the blue jay had asked off now.

Rigby looked as though he wanted to say something but was having trouble thinking of the words. Skips assumed it was probably another excuse to try and get out of work. The raccoon just wanted more time to spend snooping on his friend.

"Get back to work," Skips said in his best Benson voice he possibly could. Sadly, the anger and spite that was usual apparent in the park managers voice was missing from the yeti, and it came out sounding rather dry.

When Rigby did nothing but sit on that park bench and mope, Skips gave up and stood. He began to walk away from the quote unquote "adult", and return to his assignments.

"It's not fair," he heard Rigby whisper sadly.

Skips turned back around and say the raccoon standing on the bench on his tip toes, trying to get a better view in the distance. Sadly for him, the happy couple were already out of eye sight. He clenched his fists angrily and slumped back into his seat on the bench.

The raccoon's face contorted and twisted into something that began as anger and rage, but then later turned into sorrow and regret. The poor kid looked like he was going to start crying any second. Something then found a spot on Rigby's head. He couldn't see it as it was out of his range of sight, so he reached his hand up and felt for it. It was big and thick, and furry? That was odd. It began to scratch his head for a few seconds, and then stopped just as suddenly. Skips binoculars fell into his lap a moment later. It didn't take Rigby long to realize who was doing this.

Skips sighed as he took a seat next to the raccoon again. He didn't say anything, allowing an awkward silence to fill the space between the two of them. Rigby felt the yeti's hand slide from his head down to his back, rubbing it as he reached the center. Once the initial reaction of shock cleared his system, the raccoon cooed at the feeling. He never got these kind of interactions with other people, save for his brother who he resented, so they were still something foreign.

"So what's not fair?" Skips asked finally.

Rigby groaned as he looked down at the ground with a sad look. "Everything..."

Skips took his hand away from the raccoon's back and looked at him with a small bit of sympathy showing.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

**You only get one chance when it comes around... Make it count!**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	10. II Explode

**II. Explode**

"Dude, I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this," Mordecai said as he readjusted his suit.

It was rare to see the blue jay in anything but his blue feathers, but Rigby had to admit that his best bro looked pretty good in a suit and tie. But still, that wasn't what the raccoon was upset about at the moment.

"Benson's been riding my tail about the baseball field all week," the raccoon complained, "and you said you were going to help me clean it up!"

Mordecai rolled his eyes as he pulled his tie into a knot. "I can't help it that Margaret wants to go on a date in the middle of the day. I can't blame her. She's been working a lot of evening shifts lately."

The blue jay noticed his tie was up too high and slightly askew, so he pulled the knot apart and started over.

The raccoon gritted his teeth at his friend, feeling rejected again. "Mordecai, you promised you'd help!"

"Please dude," the bird said unconvinced, "you don't want my help. You just want me to do all the work while you play with your dolls under the bleachers."

"THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!" Rigby screamed at his friend. "And I wasn't going to do that anyways!"

"Sure, dude," Mordecai continued, "whatever."

There was an angry silence between the two of them as Mordecai continued to try and get his tie right. It didn't work out so well again, so he started over. As he was pulling the knot loose again, the blue jay let out a brief chuckle. Rigby perked up his ears and curiously looked at his friend, letting out a quick, "what?" as he did.

"Nothing," Mordecai answered.

"What is it, Mordecai?" Rigby quickly asked, knowing full well his friend was laughing at him about something.

The taller man let out another quick chuckle as he pulled the end of his tie through a loop. "What you said about Benson riding your tail," he started with a smile, "I thought you liked it when guys rode your tail."

Rigby's eye twitched just then. It would only figure that Mordecai would have brought that up whenever he got the chance. Heaven forbid that Rigby should ever talk about Mordecai's stalker nature or near sociopathic anger, but Rigby's tendency to lean both ways was open for discussion and ridicule for everyone.

"Dude, that is not cool!" Rigby pouted.

Mordecai smirked as he pulled the tie tight. "Really? Cause I think it's hilarious."

"That isn't what this is about," the raccoon said, the tone in his voice getting sharper.

The tie was slanted and uneven again. The bird grunted in his throat and angrily pulled the knot apart once again. When the piece of cloth was hanging limply around his neck, he turned to look down at his friend. "Cut the crap, dude," he said with some spite in his voice, "that's exactly what this is about."

Rigby was about to say something in retaliation, but stopped himself midway, knowing that anything he said was going to be twisted by his friend.

"You're just jealous that I'm running off with Margaret and not you," Mordecai continued. "How many times do I have to tell you, dude, I don't chase junk male."

The raccoon suddenly felt distant and sick to his stomach. It would have probably felt worse if this was the first time they had argued on this subject, but it wasn't. It came up every so often, usually at the expense of Rigby feeling less than "regular". All the while, Rigby kept his mouth shut and refused to say anything on the subject. True, he admitted to playing both sides of the field, but he never really took interest in anybody, and that included Mordecai. The blue jay, at some point in there friendship, got it in his head that Rigby was head over heals for him, and that the raccoon would do anything to get with him, including sabotage a potential relationship with Margaret.

Rigby rolled his eyes at his friend. He didn't want to journey down this road again. "And how many times do I have to tell you," Rigby shot back, "I don't like you that way!"

Mordecai looked away from him and shook his head. He looked down at his tie and groaned, realizing he only had about twenty minutes to finish getting ready. He muttered something under his breath, more than likely directed at his best friend, which didn't help matters.

Rigby crossed his arms in anger and turned away. "At least I actually got junk," the raccoon said to himself loudly. He hoped it would reach Mordecai's ears… it most certainly did.

The bird turned on his heel, knelt down, turned the raccoon around to face him, and repeatedly screamed, "NOT COOL, NOT COOL, NOT COOL," in an incredibly furious manner.

Now if there was one subject that was off the table completely by both Rigby and Mordecai, it was Mordecai's "lack of equipment" thanks to his species and genus. At this moment though, Rigby deemed it necessary to bring it up. The raccoon was angry, and couldn't take it anymore.

"Margaret's a girl," Rigby said with an evil smile, "she has an excuse. What's yours?"

Rigby would regret saying that a second later when Mordecai's fist connected with his face. The raccoon went flying across the room in an instant, slamming into the bedroom wall. He got up after a moment and looked at his friend with sad eyes.

"That really hurt, dude."

Mordecai rubbed his knuckle, slightly sore from the force he put into it. "Good. You needed some sense knocked into you."

Rigby looked down at the floor sadly and then back up at Mordecai. He jumped up and sprinted toward the blue jay, screaming at the top of his lungs. He slammed himself into the bird's stomach and wrestled him to the ground, knocking Mordecai onto his back and forcing all the air out of his lungs. Rigby's brought his fist up and hit at the bird's beak as hard as he could. Now the little raccoon might not have been the strongest person in the world, but he knew all the right places to cause some serious damage on his friend.

The raccoon then jumped up into the air, and landed cannonball style onto his friend's stomach, causing a painful gurgling sound to come out of his beak. The bird's anger rose to an astronomically high level as he punched his little friend in the face again, knocking him off the bird. He kicked the raccoon with all his might, making the mammal fly across the room again, and once again slam into a wall.

They both looked at each other in sheer rage, sizing up their competition, before running at each other as fast as they can. The two continued to trade blows and attack each other with all their might, cursing and insulting each other as they did so. They forced each other against walls, pinned each other to the ground, smacked, punched, kicked, and bit each other in various parts of their bodies. The adrenaline kicked up a few degrees as the two attacked each other over and over again, their bodies still not reaching exhaustion.

At some point during the fight, they left the bedroom and took it out into the hallways, continuing to mercilessly brawl. Rigby had taken to biting at the bird's legs, while Mordecai found that pulling at the raccoon's tail and using it to throw the furry animal across the hall was surprisingly useful. Eventually, the two found themselves in the bathroom, caught on the tile floor, weakly exchanging fists at each others face. When they both found that they could barely lift a fist anymore, let alone an arm, let alone themselves… they called a truce and stopped, both panting and out of breath.

Rigby was lying on top of Mordecai's chest, feeling him self lift and fall to the fast panting of his friend. For the slightest of moments, he could hear the bird's heartbeat, going nearly as fast as a hummingbird's. It was comfortable, but Mordecai's body was too warm and sweaty to lay on top of at that moment, so he rolled over and fell onto the cool tile floor.

The two lay there, trying to keep cool and reserved as their body's exuded heat out of every orifice. Mordecai turned on his side to get a quick glance at his friend. "We cool now?"

Rigby turned on his side as well to get a better look at his friend. Noticing the bird's tie was still undone and somehow survived the fight even though it had been dangling the whole time. He took it upon himself to grab it and tie it the correct way for his friend. When the full Windsor knot had been completed, he looked at his friend honestly. "Yeah, we're cool. Sorry about what I said earlier."

"Yeah, dude," Mordecai sighed in exhaustion, "sorry about what I said too."

Rigby nodded and let it slide. They both lied on the bathroom floor for a few minutes before Mordecai eventually got up and left. He was already late for his date, but he was sure Margaret would forgive him if he explained the situation. It left the raccoon on the floor, thinking about what had just happened. They had had fights like this before, so it wasn't surprising. And they both usually came out of it awkwardly okay. But then again…

Why did he still feel so confused?

**We roll out the red carpet when rotten luck comes down the road...**

_Have To Explode - The Mountain Goats_

from the Album _"Tallahassee"_

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	11. III Comfort

**III. Comfort**

Rigby never liked seeing Mordecai upset. Usually, when the blue jay got upset, he would crawl under the covers of his bed and not say or do anything for a few days. The bird would even go the extra mile and close up the windows with thumb tacks and bed sheets, making sure no light came in; giving the room a truly maudlin look. He took rejection pretty badly, among other things. For example, being dumped by the girl of your dreams in favor for someone "better" who just so happened to walk inside the coffee shop.

"I can be an Olympic class runner if I wanna be," the blue jay moaned from under the covers of his bed. "I really can!"

Rigby sat on the edge of the bed, his feet dangling over, listening to his friend. "I know, bro," he said with little sympathy. He had been through this many times before, and many times before, his friend would sooner or later get over it. The most he had ever seen his friend in a slump this much was when he was convinced he would never find a job. Look where that ended up.

The raccoon sighed and moved over to the lump on the bed, laying down next to it, and placing his hands behind his head. If he was going to be there and suffer with his friend, at the very least he could try and relax a little bit.

"I don't see what's so special about him," Mordecai said, "he's just some human with long legs." The bird then stuck his leg out and showed it off. "I got long legs too!"

"Dude," Rigby started, "she just likes to run around with everyone. She's like a bike with lady pecs on the pedals."

The lump suddenly stood up, becoming a mountain. "That's not nice, Rigby," Mordecai defended.

"Seriously, dude?" the raccoon continued. "Margaret broke up with you yesterday and you're trying to defend her?"

Mordecai said nothing. He thought about it for a bit and slowly stooped back down onto the mattress, his mountain turning into a hill once again.

Another long silence filled the room. Neither one of them wanted to say anything. Mordecai knew that if he said anything, it was probably going to be something depressing and futile, while Rigby knew if he tried to say anything uplifting, it would probably fall on deaf ears. This was part of their friendship. They both felt better in bad times simply knowing that the other was there and listening. Neither of them liked being caring or sympathetic, since they deemed it to be "sick", so just the company of one another was fine with them.

Mordecai rustled around in his cave of blankets, causing Rigby to take notice. When he noticed that nothing seemed out of place, he went back to relaxing on the bed. At that moment, Rigby wished he had some extra cash to buy a portable gaming system or something. This was too boring, and he'd be damned if he was going to actually pick up a book to pass the time.

"I think I'm through with women," Mordecai grumbled underneath the covers. "I think I'm gonna switch over to dudes for a while."

Rigby looked over at his friend in disbelief. This was certainly new. But then again, he had never really seen Mordecai crush on a girl this hard. He had seen the blue jay crush on girls plenty of time, but not this much. She definitely must have been something special to him, even if they only lasted about a month.

The blue jay sat up again, and towered over the raccoon. "You think you could teach me to be dude-wrangler?"

The raccoon groaned under his breath, stood up on the bed, and delivered a swift kick to pile of blanket in front of him. Mordecai crashed down onto the mattress. A second later, his head appeared from underneath them.

"Dude… what the H!"

"Get over it!" Rigby interrupted him. "There are other girls out there, so quit being so melodramatic. You're starting to sound like me!"

That was a pretty low insult, especially coming from Rigby. Mordecai was actually surprised to see the raccoon poking fun at himself. He must really care about his friend if he's willing to go that far.

Mordecai looked away for a moment and then back to Rigby. "C'mon, dude. I'm sick of getting my heart kicked around by chicks." He turned on his side and sighed sadly. "Dudes probably aren't as bad. I mean - look at us! We're already technically a couple."

Rigby wasn't sure if he should be insulted, or take it as an opportunity. The idea of a relationship between himself and his friend did sound pretty appetizing. Still, he dashed that out of his mind, knowing that there was still something a little more important that mattered.

"People just suck, dude," Rigby spouted out as he sat down next to his lump of a friend. "Guys'll do that to ya too. Remember Erik?"

Mordecai chuckled when he remembered the first guy Rigby actually dated. "He was a D-bag dude. Plain and simple."

Rigby smiled when he heard his friend say this. "Well, remember Rebecca, back at the community college?"

The blue jay thought about her too, and how she just up and left Rigby cause he was too "excitable" and "over imaginative". They were stupid reasons to leave someone. Kind of like Margaret, he was beginning to think.

"So don't worry about it, man!" the raccoon continued. "Everyone's like that, ya know?"

Mordecai smiled slightly as he kept in his blanket. He had to admit that he felt a little better about the whole situation when put into that perspective. People were just mean spirited and cruel animals. Truthfully, it sounded more depressing than uplifting, but it helped a little bit. But Mordecai was sure that not everyone was like that though. After all, his friend wasn't like that to him.

He remained there in silence thinking of a few things before finally saying something. "You think there's a girl out there for me?"

What a cliché thing to ask, Rigby thought to him self. He wondered why it was that so many depressed guys had to think that way. Of course there was someone out there for him. They may actually be closer than he thought. Rigby smiled when he thought about that, but once again quickly wiped it from his thoughts. He liked his friendship with Mordecai more than anything else.

"I thought you were switching to guys," Rigby mocked with a grin.

Mordecai let out a quick laugh and eyed his friend seriously. "You're enough of a dude-wrangler for the both of us, dude."

Rigby let a fist punch at Mordecai's shoulder, to which the bird didn't feel a single thing from the blow. Still, Rigby wasn't even trying to hurt his friend. He was just trying to be playful.

Mordecai smiled at his raccoon friend. "Thanks for making me feel a little better, dude."

"Just a little?" Rigby asked. He thought for sure that the bird was 100% now.

"Dude, I still feel like S. Margaret just stomped all over my heart. I still hurt, man."

Rigby sighed, hoping that all was said and done. At least it was progress. Maybe his depression wouldn't last as long this time.

Suddenly, Rigby found him self get enveloped in blankets as Mordecai pulled him close to his chest.

"Sick, dude!" Rigby yelled. "What are you doing?"

"Nothin'… Just huggin'."

"Dude, we don't hug! Remember?"

"Take it easy, Rigby," Mordecai said, "we're not technically huggin'."

He was right, technically. Fur and feather weren't touching, obstructed thanks to the cotton and fabric of the blankets. They weren't hugging. They were just sharing the same blanket. A convenient excuse for the blue jay, who hadn't been in a real hug with the raccoon since they got blazed and embraced each other all the time in high school. That and the occasional drunken moment in their young adulthood.

"Yeah, well," Rigby muttered, "it's still weird."

Mordecai didn't answer him. He just tightened his grip on his friend and remained there, enjoying whatever it was they were doing. Rigby wanted to complain more, but once again knew that the blue jay didn't give a damn about what he said right then. He'd let Mordecai have this one, but the bird owed him now. As Rigby relaxed into his blankety hug, he thought about ways he could get Mordecai to make it up to him.

As much as he hated hugs, secretly, when they came from Mordecai, they were alright.

**Sometimes, you just need a little help from your friends!**

_Until Next Chapter..._

_Adieu..._


	12. Ephemeral

**Ephemeral**

The skunk huffed out a simple sigh, and continued to stare down the raccoon. "Yeah, the thing is, I'm sick of being the only skunk in town," he explained. "Always getting dirty looks; people yelling at ya, everyone hatin' ya one hundred percent of the time." The bulking animal began to circle Rigby, his eyes filled with intent.

"Nah," he continued, "with you as a skunk, things won't be so bad. All that negative attention won't fall just on me: It'll fall on you too." He pointed down at his prey, feeling a smirk stretch on his face. He watched Rigby's fearful expression and continued: "We'll split it – fifty fifty… partner…"

That one word proved to be too much for the raccoon as he let out a terrified yell, which in turn led him to lose focus and begin to transform again. Rigby lunged at the cause of all this, their tussling throwing themselves into the skunk's cabin. He jumped onto the beast and began to wail on him, slamming one fist after another on him.

The skunk took in the blows, knowing full well this would happen. He could take it. All he needed to do was wait long enough, and the raccoon would be his. The transformation would soon take effect fully, and his new partner would be by his side at long last.

"Tell me!" Rigby slurred. "Tell me how to end this! Tell me!"

The skunk looked up at his project. He had forgotten just how powerful the transformations made his prey. All he could make out was a big brown blur or angry fur and muscles. He didn't even need to guess that angry eyes were shining down on him like a rain of knifes. He liked it: this ephemeral pain. It was temporary, leading into something much greater.

The skunk longed for it. He couldn't wait to see the raccoon in his new form: tall, darkly colored, a hint of malice all over him with a vague hint of innocence. The attack on Rigby was an accident at first, but seeing him like this, the skunk couldn't be more giddy. His smirk refused to leave him as he fantasized about their partnership. He wasn't going to be lonely anymore. He was going to have someone new right by his side.

But still, there was a chance that things wouldn't work out so well for him. There was always that nagging at the back of his head that told him otherwise. The thoughts told him that Rigby would find a way, and he'd be alone again. He couldn't take that chance.

The skunk let out a false laugh, to try and feign his composure around the ill raccoon. "It's pineapple juice," he lied through his teeth, "but it's too late anyways. The transformation's already starting, partner."

Rigby didn't give it a second thought. He felt his body shrink as he sprinted out of the cabin, back toward the golf cart.

The skunk mourned slightly at Rigby's return to stature, but felt a joyful skip in his heart when he noticed the black and white coloring on the little guy's tail. His smirk grew ever anticipating, knowing the transformation would be complete soon. He couldn't remember a time in which he was both this terrified and excited. He needed to follow him.

The skunk sat up in a wobble, and did his best to run at a matching sprint to catch up to Rigby. He winced from his wounds and continued on, thoughts pondering into a what-if sort of territory. What would their life be like, he wondered?

He thought about them sharing the same cabin out in the woods. There would be a sort of rivalry between them, something that was obviously there in a friendly sort of matter. Perhaps with two of them, they would be able to scare the city into a panic, or maybe even recruit more.

No, no. That wouldn't be right. He didn't want to recruit more. He just wanted to have Rigby. He needed this one. He didn't even care who it was. It was someone that was like him, who he could stand to be around, and actually enjoy it. He needed to be around this new skunk fellow, and laugh, and joke, and play. What else could there be beyond that? Maybe something more? Was that a possibility? He wasn't sure of himself there. He needed something to fall back on.

He found himself licking his lips in anticipation as the prospect of the future enticed him to move forward. Another person like him: to share their eternal hell. Oh how he delighted in the thoughts: Such fur, such physique, such strength, such hate. The solitude wouldn't persist around him anymore. He could be with someone without so much as a care in the world. He could – dare he say it – be happy for a change.

What would he do with Rigby though? What was beyond the future he saw? There couldn't have been anything else, or if there was, he'd deal with it later. His loneliness would be away from him, and he could be happy at last.

He didn't want this… he needed this.

"Don't worry…" he assured the raccoon. "Once you like me, you'll never wanna switch back." His laugh echoed around the kitchen as he watched Rigby shift into another being. In his eyes: a more perfect being.

**How far would you go to eliminate your loneliness?**

_Until Next Chapter…_

_Adieu…_


End file.
